there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
