I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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