You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
