You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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