so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
