I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Holy sore nipples Batman
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
