i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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