Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
