My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
