Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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