Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
