I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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