So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize