See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
