This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no, he came in my armpit
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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