His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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