Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
