Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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