It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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