Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
