I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
