I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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