is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
