Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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