So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
