I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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