i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
