Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
