never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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