Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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