I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize