he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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