come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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