Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
