My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
