Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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