All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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