I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
