i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize