too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
