Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
