I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
