Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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