I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
