her vagine was all disorganized.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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