ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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