By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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