I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
