i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We have started to decorate penises.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
