my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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