I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
