I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
