But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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