Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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