you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
