I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
