somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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