I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize